Vacationing From the Edge: The Reasons part 2

In the last part of the Vacationing From the Edge series I talked about my low-self esteem issues. Today's post will cover the Dreamer part.

Dreamer

Being a dreamer is a permanent characteristic for me, so I'm going to preface this with a I don't see me ever not being a dreamer. Some times my dreams get lost amongst reality and some times I prefer my dream world over this real world. And this has really caused a lot of my problems to date but I don't see me forsaking my dreams to become financially stable.

For starters being a dreamer helps me cope with life. I mean life is not a easy thing to deal with. Because with life you have death and that's not a real awesome thing to think about (Unless you are a Goth- I'm not...nothing against them.) Being from a barely above poverty line family I got use to drowning everything and everyone out when things got bad. But as I've gotten older I know and understand that things could have gotten a lot worse.

How does that translate to my personal financial predicament? Well often it means I set to high of a goal for me to obtain in the small amount of time I give myself, which means I usually fail. And I've talked about that already and how that affects me so no repeats. But one of the truly big dream that I have that affects me the most is that I want my family to be happy and stress free. I know there are some going...Wait you can't put that all on yourself...you gonna drive yourself crazy trying to do that. Hence the title of the blog. Well I've been trying for 20-something years and I've not manage to do it. My family is miserable or anything they just aren't as happy as they could be, if we all weren't financially burden.

Often I catch myself daydreaming while others are living their life. And over the few weeks I've been here trying to find work I have come to some decisions.

It's time to stop living in the dream world solely, I think it's fine for me to visit at least once a day. I'm very creative...creativity is an extension of my soul. I need it to survive which means I need to dream to come up with new ideas of creativity. From writing to photography, digital arts to sculpture, painting to basket weaving. I've done it all and I'm always interested in coming up with new ways to express my creativity. I've come up with a list of new hobbies I want to try that I'll post about later.

I don't look at being a dreamer as being a negative thing, but I do understand the part it had to buying me the ticket to the edge.